Who are We?

A Reflection on Being and Becoming

Who am I? What am I doing here? What is my purpose? 

All of us have moments when these questions are on our mind and heart.  

Many people go through this at the end of high school or college. They think they need a plan for the future and what they are to do in the future. After all we are told by family and friends that we need to decide what we are going to do with our lives. Many dreams and decisions are made from this time of pressure. Others are what people call “late bloomers,” the wait to go to college, because they’ve decided that they aren’t clear yet, and so they graduate in the late twenties or early thirties. Then they figure they have their direction and plan figured out. 

Except, life doesn’t really work the way the textbooks and the life mapping strategies tell us they will. 

The job moves out of the country. The business fails. The school position is lost. The church is closed. The community or economy we live in goes through extreme change. We are left in the middle of our active career life asking the same questions we were asking twenty or thirty years ago.  

Differences of Facing Change in Midlife 

There are some differences when you come to mid-life and have these questions.  

First, you are not as young or energetic as you were at eighteen, twenty-five, or even thirty. The greater responsibilities: home, family, debts, and community responsibilities. 

Second, you have trained and built your career on your current job and experience. These for many people are limited to just a few areas where we can truly be considered experts.  

Additionally, our job or career has become our identity. Many people don’t like to admit this, but their jobs often become their identity. People like to tell themselves and others it is their family, their upbringing, or their faith that helps create their identity. To some extent these things do add to their identity. However, for most Western minded people, especially in The United States our Job is our identity.  Think about when you meet a new group of people. How quickly are our jobs or their jobs brought to the forefront of the conversation.  

We’ve Forgotten to be  Human-Beings 

Sadly, in our Western mindset most of us are no longer Human-beings but have become Human-doings. The modern factory and corporate worlds of the West have caused few of us to simply live life or simply be. We’re constantly rushing from one project or assignment to the next. This rushing creates a workaholic mentality that overtakes us. 

Many people have forgotten the meaning of breaks, rest, vacation, or sabbaticals. People have forgotten simply how to be. 

Derailment Creates Tailspin 

The past year-and-a-half my wife and I have been going through some of this. A church closure, a loss of home, a change of work outside the church, and a different place in life. Our lives derailed and put us into a tailspin.  

We moved closer to our aging parents and our grandchildren. It is nice to be able to see those who have been far away for many years. We are buying our own home, which is only the second time we’ve been able to do that in nearly 36 years of marriage. My wife was able to secure income in a similar type of work, although the hours are not ideal for spending time with grandchildren that were hoped for. I have been able to supplement some income in a private school and am starting an online devotional for some sort of ministry outlet. So, there are many good things happening. 

The problem is that, like many people going through second careers or changing jobs at this stage, I often find myself empty and at a loss. My calling, training, skills, and experience all seem greatly underutilized. My priorities have shifted. The push to please everyone else has been replaced by a deeper desire to make a difference. Sitting in a place where I can see the effects of overcommitment and overwork, I also can see my future and ask, am I just my career, or am I supposed to be more? 

I truly wonder how many people get to retirement, receive their last check and walk home to their empty houses or if lucky look at their spouses and say, ‘who am I?’ or ‘who are you?’   

What Will We be in the End? 

Life should be more than our jobs. At some point people need to realize they must become who they truly are. The who as a person they truly are to be.  

Some of us are still working through this. Some of us may feel that we are simply settling, at least so we put food on the table and a roof overhead. We know we haven’t worked through everything or reached our potential in being.  

Some may feel it’s too late to change. I personally believe that if there is breath within us, we have opportunity to become what God truly intends for us. We can keep our heart and eyes open to where we will become our best at being instead of simply existing and doing. 

So, the questions return to each one of us: 

• Who are we? 

• Why are we here? 

• What are we hoping to become? 

Only you can keep living and ask for yourself. Only you can seek to become ever more the you that you are destined to be. 

“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (Romans 12:2) 

Blessing on the Journey, 

Dan Shipton